You can still do everything externally that needs doing – and to a high level too. You can do the job, run the business, manage the team, organise the kids and run the home. Yet on the inside you’re having a meltdown!
You’re ambitious, driven, intelligent and hard working. You want the best in life and you’re committed to working for it. But the more ambitious you are, the more uncertainty you have to be able to handle. As your goals get bigger, your responsibilities grow, your team grows, your circle of influence grows, and so the uncertainty grows. More things can go wrong.
It’s escalated to a point where your old habits for trying to handle uncertainty are falling apart at the seams. For example, one of your habits is to come up with every possible way that something could go wrong, and then try to emotionally deal with that in advance (or at the very least, brace for impact). In reality, only 1 in 100 of the things you thought could go wrong does go wrong.
That’s not a very effective strategy, but you can get away with it up to a certain level – typically middle management or mid sized business (if you have an extremely high tolerance for pain and stress). But there’s a ceiling that you simply can’t break through because you mentally and physically can’t handle the uncertainty beyond that point.
This leaves you with three options:
Reduce your ambitions and workload. You reach burnout, you have your “fuck this shit!” moment and you take a smaller role, downsize your business, or jump ship to something completely different. This is pretty depressing. You know you’re meant for more and it feels like quitting.
Stay at the level you’re at and white knuckle it. This is a ticking time bomb. Ask yourself honestly, what’s going to happen if you keep operating in this way?
Best case scenario, you’re able to keep white knuckling it for your entire career. Perhaps you’re fortunate enough to have resilient genetics and are somehow able to avoid serious disease and illness.
But the decades go by in a somewhat groundhog day fashion because you’re stuck in survival mode 24/7. Externally you might look like you have an amazing life – the career, money, house, lifestyle, etc. But you’re surviving, not thriving. You’re never fully present enjoying your life, you’re just getting through the day.
All that stress and overwhelm is inevitably going to bleed into every area of your life in some way, from your energy and mood day to day, to your relationships to your body. The only question is how much?
That’s the BEST case scenario! What’s the worst case? I’ll let you answer that one. But I encourage you to simply be honest about what the current trajectory of your life looks like.
Have a different “fuck this shit!” moment! This is where you utterly refuse to tolerate stress and overwhelm as your quality of life moving forward. You’re still committed to an ambitious, go getting lifestyle, but you’re fully committed to transforming how you approach those goals and your life.
In other words, you’re fully committed to transforming YOU and how you operate. You realise that your problems are not external, they are internal.
This is the secret to, not only living and loving the life you currently have, but to breaking through that ceiling and achieving more than you ever thought possible.
And it has NOTHING to do with controlling the externals, or time management, or anything of that nature.
It also has NOTHING to do with superficial band aids that make you feel better for a moment, but don’t fix the core problem – like meditation, yoga, ice baths, sound healing, or breath work.
It’s all about rewriting the operating software in your brain. In simplified terms there are 2 parts to the puzzle.
The first is learning the foundational skill of emotional fitness. This is the ability to regulate your state INTERNALLY regardless of what’s happening EXTERNALLY.
In all seriousness, this is the most important skill to learn in life, and nobody seems to be teaching it!
Eliminate the blindspots and false beliefs that keep you addicted to trying to predict and control the future, despite the fact that you know it’s futile and a waste of energy.
3 of the biggest blindspots are:
1. Self worth. “If I make a mistake or have a failure, that means that I am a failure. That means I’m going to look bad, I’ll be kicked out of the gang, I’ll be rejected, I won’t be loved or accepted, which means that I’m not enough and can’t be at peace in who I am or truly accept who I am.”
2. Safety. “I have zero margin for error if I’m going to survive in this world. If I don’t stay perpetually on high alert, I’ll get blindsided by a catastrophic problem that will destroy everything I hold dear!”
3. Happiness. “If I don’t create the perfect life I’ll be incapable of happiness. I’ll forever feel like I missed out, failed, and got left behind.”
These blindspots keep you terrified of mistakes, failure, and judgement. Which means now you can’t stop thinking about all the unfinished business in your life and all the things that could go wrong, and can’t switch your brain off.
Once we teach you…
1. Emotional fitness
2. A completely new relationship with yourself
3. A new relationship with life – including the future and the uncertain, unpredictable nature of life…
… now you’re unstoppable! Now you’re completely free from all the anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and noise in your brain.
You’re strong, confident and self assured.
You have bulletproof tenacity and resilience.
You’re impervious to judgement and other people’s opinions.
You’re bold and decisive.
You don’t sweat the small stuff.
You take everything in your stride.
You have bags of calmness, ease, and inner peace.
You also have a real sense of purpose, direction and passion in life.
You bring the gratitude everyday and you bring the joy everyday.
That’s the life that becomes available to you when you fully commit to cutting ties to your old habits and fully commit to transforming YOURSELF from the inside out.
Love Rachel & David xx