You’re competitive. A high performer. Busy and driven. You have no time for rest, no time for recovery. You’re ambitious. You are your job and your success is you. You’re type A, a real go getter with your shit together, at least on the outside….
It’s high pressure, high stakes work.
Expectations are high today and even higher tomorrow. The pressure.
To perform at your best, to be the best. Stress is constant and you’re always on.
Days are long, the adrenaline high and workload is immense.
Somehow, you get it done.
But the struggle to be constantly on leaves you tired but wired and you never shut off.
Day after day, client after client, patient after patient, except the stress builds and the pressure mounts and you’re so tired and you try to contain it and then…
You explode….
And this is where food comes in.
This is where alcohol comes in.
And this is where binge spending comes in, a compulsive and extravagant spending behavior that fills the same emotional need and void that both binge eating and alcohol fill.
Which is:
A need to get your brain to shut off and allow you to zone out. A way to allow your nervous system to calm down. A way to forget. Numb. Relax from the unrelenting and constant stress, overwhelm and pressure you feel 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
But…
Emotional eating, binge eating, using alcohol or escaping into compulsive spending are only faulty attempts to provide a band-aid solution to the constant stress and overwhelm you feel that affects not only your health, your wallet, but the quality of your life, your relationships and if we’re being honest, your career.
And since we’re being honest…
Binge eating, alcohol and binge spending are all coping mechanisms that are RIFE within the medical profession, lawyers, and with those working in financial services.
The thing is…
It’s understandable.
Chances are, you’ve been conditioned into why you do what you do from a young age.
Chances are, you’ve been under a lot of pressure from a very young age to perform. To do well at school, to get the good grades, and once you get the good grades it’s off to the university of your choice, and there’s a lot of significance in that. You do well, you start to succeed financially, and the sky’s the limit.
And you become a hard worker. An overachiever. You develop a high tolerance to pain because you’ve trained it to be high. You’ve had to, to get to where you are today.
And you knuckle down. You grind, working through the long hours and the intense workload and the stress, wearing your work ethic like a badge of honor. You’re the yes girl. You’re the make it happen girl. It’s who you are, how you succeed.
And this goes on for years.
In truth, you believe if you don’t work this hard, you’ll fail, unravel, or underperform and that rocks you to your very core, seeing as your self worth and identity have become intricately linked to how hard you work, how hard you push, and how much you achieve.
Maybe you feel lazy, even guilty, if you stop. Not doing something, not being productive, means you’re letting someone down, wasting time and being worthless because now your value as a human being is no longer derived from being, but rather doing.
Chances are, you also have an excessive need for certainty and control.
Except your excessive need for certainty and control manifests itself in an insatiable need for predictability.
Yet the only way to “guarantee” the future and truly be sure, is to do everything that is humanly possible and as a result your days and your life are governed by endless to-do lists, while ticking off the boxes helps you keep a sense of control over all the stress and overwhelm and pressure you feel.
Like this, you minimize the chances of failure, minimize the chances of being called out, of looking bad, of being criticized and of disappointing others.
Except 100% certainty on anything is IMPOSSIBLE and not only is this is an exhausting and monumentally stressful place to live out of, but this constant worry and stress occupies an inordinate amount of space in your brain and never allows you to shut off.
The problem is…
Physiologically, our bodies, minds and nervous systems simply cannot maintain this rhythm and level of pressure and there inevitably comes a point where we finally explode.
And so we turn to binge or emotional eating, alcohol, or binge shopping to help us disconnect, zone out and give ourselves a temporary reprieve from the MONUMENTAL stress and overwhelming pressure that governs our lives.
But here’s the thing:
Not doubting that you have massive amounts of responsibilities, demands and a huge workload. But despite what you may think or how it might feel, stress doesn’t come from the external; your boss, your workload, clients, patients, your kids, or the long hours. It’s easy to blame these things but it’s what you’re doing internally that’s causing the problem. In other words, it’s an in there, not an out there problem.
This is why attacking the external is NOT the solution but just slapping another band aid on the problem.
This is why doing temporary stuff like going on retreats, doing another diet, going for a massage, doing a dry January, or even taking up meditation never work long term.
None of these are addressing the root cause of the problem which is:
A self-worth issue tied up in a perpetual need to constantly be doing something and feel productive in order to feel worthwhile and valued as a human being.
Because there’s a difference between being driven and hardworking and a compulsion to always remain busy so that you feel good enough.
There’s a difference between thriving on stress, viewing it as a challenge and knowing when to shut off and rest and recover versus being unable to switch your brain off or mentally or physically recover because that makes you feel like a waste of space.
There’s a difference between having high standards and succumbing to impossible levels of perfectionism to avoid criticism or having people think badly of you, levels so high that leave no room for error or the ability to shut off and come down.
Know this:
None of this is your fault. These are all learned patterns of behavior and can be unlearned.
However, though it may not be your fault, it is your responsibility to do something about it.
Somewhere along the line you seem to have forgotten who it is you really are and who you are supposed to be. Which is a worthy human being deserving of love just for being you.
You don’t have to do this alone and help is available.
Let’s get you back to being you – BOOK YOUR CONSULTATION for Chase Life Intensive
Rachel & David xxx
