You are binge eating. (or emotional eating, or mindless eating or whatever you want to label it)
You’re over analysing your food and second guessing every decision you make.
Social events scare you – you either back out, or go and resign yourself to yet another “bad day”.
You struggle to be fully present with your loved ones. They get the low energy, low mood, distracted version of you. Maybe even the short tempered version.
If you’re single, dating is scary and frustrating. You go back and forth between blaming men/women/the dating world, and blaming yourself. You tell yourself you’ll get back out there WHEN… you lose weight, feel good enough, get your shit together.
If you’re in a relationship your partner certainly isn’t getting the best version of you. Even if you think you’re hiding your issues from them, they know! Maybe not that you’re binge eating, but they know something’s wrong, and it is affecting them.
You bury yourself in work. It’s a distraction from food, and it’s the only place you feel some degree of confidence. Although it’s not true self confidence because you’re still under the illusion that competence = confidence. Which is why your self esteem is unstable and unreliable.
Whilst work keeps your mind distracted from thoughts of food or not feeling good enough, the stress and overwhelm are taking their toll.
Even though your career is going well from the outside, you’re not truly living. You’re surviving, getting through the day, and just about coping…
… AND YOU’RE STILL WAITING TO FEEL READY?!
WAITING for the right time to make a proper commitment and do what it takes to fix your struggles?!
Instead you continue to dabble with band-aids and quick fixes. You hop from diet to diet and programme to programme, and then lie to yourself that, “I’ve tried everything!”
Yes a real solution that actually works is going to take a real commitment. It takes an investment of money, time, and effort.
What did you think it was going to take?! Something free, convenient and easy?!
But of course making a proper commitment scares you because now you’ve got to back yourself and actually follow through on those key words… “I’ll do what it takes”…..
….So instead of committing to a real solution, you find ever more ingenious ways of procrastinating, avoiding facing your fears, and avoiding making a sincere commitment…
“I’ll figure it out on my own.”
“Maybe it’ll eventually pass on it’s own. I’m sure I’ll grow out of it.”
“I need to do a bit more research.”
“It’s not that bad.”
Procrastination is actually a skill. You get better with practice. You get close to facing your fears and making a bold decision and then back out. So your brain recognises that pattern.
What it learns is, “I was afraid… I backed out… and I survived! This is an effective survival strategy!” So you repeat it again and again until it becomes a habit.
Before you know it you’re constantly playing it safe. Tolerating mediocrity and a lifetime of struggle and emotional suffering under the disguise of practicality….. Read that again!
Who do you know who has an extraordinary quality of life – both success AND happiness – who played it safe?! You absolutely HAVE to be bold and courageous. You HAVE to take ownership. You HAVE to face your fears. You HAVE to be decisive and commit.
You absolutely CANNOT overcome significant life, business, or personal problems with a half hearted, convenience attitude, forever in “information gathering mode”. Or constantly waiting. Waiting for the right time, waiting to feel ready, waiting to feel like it.
Seriously?! What are you waiting for? How long have you been waiting already?
The next 12 months will go by whether you make a commitment or not. And then the 12 months after that. And then the next decade. Think I’m exaggerating the issue? What have the last few years taught you?
So from now on, you can either make decisions from the version of yourself you want to become, or you can make decisions from the person you’ve been acting like so far.
Perhaps it’s time to approach your problems the way your future self would. After all, how else are you going to grow into that version of you?
Delivered with love, a velvet sledgehammer and personal experience of WAITING for the right time…. (PS it never came, I had to make it happen)