David spoke to a lady this week who was in a panic.
She’d lost 30kg – a significant amount of weight.
But she said, “I still feel like that fat girl inside” and she still struggled with low self worth, low self confidence and didn’t feel like she was good enough.
Her binge eating had returned and the weight was creeping back on. She felt like she was at her wits end. She really thought that losing all that weight would change how she felt about herself, and that once she got “there” it would be easy to maintain.
Now her plan was falling apart fast. She felt powerless to stop it. It was like her brain was rebelling. If she still felt inadequate and insecure after all that effort, discipline and sacrifice, then… “WHAT’S THE POINT?!”
It’s probably the most common faux pas that people make in weight loss. Starting from a place of…
“WHEN I lose weight, THEN I’ll finally like myself, accept myself, even love myself.”
At first it makes sense… until you realise it’s one of life’s paradoxes. There are certain solutions in life that are counter intuitive. This is one of those.
Your intuition tells you, “If I learn to love and accept myself as I am, then I’ll accept my weight the way that it is, my eating habits the way they are, I’ll make it ok to stay this way, I’ll just be settling, and I won’t be motivated to lose weight anymore.”
But the truth is, that if you don’t learn to love and accept yourself… until… until… until… then you’re stuck 24/7 feeling like you’re inadequate and like you’re not enough. Which of course is the precursor to all those “f**k it!” moments.
It’s also the precursor to a whole host of other symptoms, like perfectionism, over analysing, the fear of failure, the fear of being judged, imposter syndrome, negative body image, people pleasing, etc.
The best case scenario (if you can call it that) is that you lose the weight through sheer discipline and force of will, but you still don’t feel like you’re enough.
Because, if your whole strategy is built upon the belief that you’re inadequate or “not enough” somehow, then does it matter how hard you try?
Even if you “get there” wherever “there” is, you’re still stressed out of your brains because now you’re on the endless treadmill. “I’m finally doing enough in order to be enough, but I can’t stop, because the moment that I stop, ah shit! I’m back to not being enough again!”
Self judgement, believing you have to PROVE that you’re enough, or BECOME enough is a habit that you’ve developed. No amount of weight loss, money, success, or praise is going to make up for that.
Self worth is an inside job.
Now, self acceptance is not the antithesis of learning, growth and progress. Think about it. When you have self worth and you love and accept yourself for exactly who you are and where you’re at right now… you’re still going to have goals!
You’re still going to have body goals, career goals, financial goals and relationship goals.
The difference is that now you’re free to chase the right things for the right reasons. Now you’re chasing those goals because that’s fun for you, because that’s an extraordinary quality of life for you, not because you need to prove anything to anybody before you finally get to feel like you’re enough, or worthy, or deserving of love!
This is how you eliminate the desperation mindset and fall in love with the journey.
You’re fully committed to your goals, but you’re no longer desperate because you’re totally comfortable in your own skin, totally at peace in who you are and where you’re at, and rocking the body that you’re in, WHILST you’re fully committed to, and excited about the future you’re creating.
THAT is how you eliminate self sabotage, fall in love with the journey, and create weight loss success that lasts forever.
NEED SOME HELP?
LOOKING FOR A COMPLETE SOLUTION TO BINGE EATING & PUTTING AN END TO FALLING OFF THE WAGON?
At Chase Life, we have the most rapid, powerful, and effective system when it comes to fully and permanently eliminating binge eating, emotional eating and compulsive eating. Not just coping mechanisms, distraction techniques or learning how to cope, but a complete resolution that leads to emotional freedom and total empowerment.
If you’re sick and tired of struggling with food, you want a serious solution that works, and you’re prepared to work hard on yourself and make this your priority, then we can help you.
To start the process please BOOK YOUR CALL and then fill out the form that follows so that we can best help you on the call. We will chat about your personal struggles with food in a strictly confidential and caring manner and see if Chase Life Intensive is an appropriate solution for you.
We look forward to speaking to you!
Lots of love
Rachel & David xxx