If you hadn’t already guessed by the title… this post is likely to be somewhat confronting.
We talk to so many clients who are stuck, struggling and feel like there is no way out of their binge/emotional eating and problems with low self confidence and low self esteem.
This has been written because we genuinely care about your outcome. It would be so easy just to have a social media feed of fluffy woo woo shit and feel good quotes and other rubbish that does NOTHING but take you further away from a transformation and a life changing positive result.
Sometimes as a coach, it is the most uncomfortable conversations which are the most important. Please know, this is delivered with love and should serve as a wake up call to illicit change.
I certainly know from experience, it was the stuff I didn’t want to hear, that was the most impactful personally and professionally. Even though at the time of hearing it I felt annoyed, upset, angry or defensive etc.
So let’s begin…
Look, you are infinitely unique, special and significant. Every person is different and every person has their own unique purpose and path in life.
….But you do NOT deserve special treatment!
Some people think that they deserve special treatment because of their perceived ego or status. They see themselves as smarter, more driven, better looking, or funnier than others and they use that as a way to try to feel superior.
NEWSFLASH – self worth has nothing to do with comparison with other people. Self worth is a relationship with yourself, nobody else.
Other people believe they deserve special treatment because of their problems. “You don’t know what it’s like for me… if you could spend a day in my shoes…!”
Your problems are not unique. And the solutions are not unique. The patterns that keep people stuck are consistent and predictable.
Stress, overwhelm, low self-worth, anxiety, binge eating, emotional eating, perfectionism, over-analysing… They all have a strategy. So do the solutions.
Yes your “life circumstances” might be different to somebody else’s and yes, you may have been dealt a really rough hand…. But the underlying patterns are the same.
So what’s the REAL reason you’re looking for special treatment?
Sometimes it’s because your self worth depends on status. Self worth is, at its core, your relationship with yourself. But most people see it as how they compare with other people. So now their self worth is constantly up and down depending on who they compare themselves with.
People blame social media for making them “feel bad” but YOU are the one DOING the comparison and bad feelings. In fact, some people even seek out others to compare themselves too.
Where do you think that strategy will get you!? (I covered this in detail previously in article titled “Stop blaming social media for your self deprecating behavior”)
It’s all ego based. They can’t truly accept themselves as who they are until they feel like they’re the busiest, smartest, wealthiest, prettiest in the room. Perhaps you never got the approval you wanted from one of your parents or whatever and you’re forever trying to prove yourself to them…. And nothing you ever do feels good enough.
Sometimes people look for special treatment because when you feel significant by having a significant problem you can feel unique and special WITHOUT having to work at it.
That’s when you’ll tend to oscillate between self pity – “poor me, why is life so hard, what’s wrong with me” – and anger. Self pity helps you to feel unique and special, but after a while you start to feel insignificant and powerless. So you get pissed off to feel powerful again. And round and round you go.
It’s a low level way of feeling significant without having to face your fears. You don’t have to face the bold, scary decisions that would change your life, you can keep procrastinating and demand special treatment via your problems instead.
The solution to all the above is first and foremost address the self worth issues. That will give you the emotional freedom to then chase the right things for the right reasons.
If the only way you can feel worthy is if you’re more significant than everybody else. And the only way you can feel more significant than everybody else is to be busier, more stressed, have bigger problems… or be skinner, richer, smarter than everybody else, then you’ll never feel like you’re enough.
When you have a stable core of self worth, now you can stop chasing things to impress other people, and instead chase what’s going to make you truly happy and fulfilled. Now you’re driven by purpose, passion, and happiness, instead of fear, stress and anxiety.
TIME TO MAKE THE CHANGE?
START HERE BY BOOKING YOUR CALL AND SEE HOW WE CAN HELP YOU SUPERCHARGE YOUR SELF WORTH AND CONFIDENCE
Love Rachel & David xxx
